Mop Buckets Ready

I was a messy child.

From my bedroom to my desk at school, I was plain messy. No matter what my parents did to get me to keep things neat and tidy, it just never happened. Mom and Dad, if you're reading this...I'll admit it: You did your best but I was inevitably messy.

Heck, my teachers kept me in at recess sometimes to clean my desk. My parents grounded me until my room was clean. But try as I may, I always ran into the same problem: the mess was too much for me. 9 times out of 10, when told to clean my messy room, I would walk in and see the mess and just become completely overwhelmed. I would then walk right back out with my hands raised in surrender to welcome my punishment.

But my parents would not accept defeat. They would simply make me march right back into the room and stay there until it was clean. Here is where I would run into another problem - instead of remaining overwhelmed at the task before me, I would sit down in the middle of the mess and play! As I picked this toy up I would find another toy that had been buried. It was like Christmas in a land fill! What fun!

So, my childhood was marked with messiness. It wasn't until I was in college when I really began to conquer my mess, embracing organization and daily tasks that kept my room clean. I began to realize that if I picked up that shoe NOW, it wouldn't turn into a 'where is my shoe?' moment later.

Are you seeing any spiritual parallels yet?

Let me tell you - I was shocked when the Lord began to speak to me about my childhood messiness this morning. I came to him in prayer today (not praying about messiness, although I have cried out for help when overwhelmed by my laundry...), asking Him to speak to me about strengthening my spirit. I love the passage in Ephesians 3:14-19 which talks about strengthening our inner man. It is rich! Full of treasures that one can ponder on and pray. But funny enough, God didn't take me to this passage at all.

As I came to him, he showed me a cozy room in my heart. If you've ever read or watched The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, the room reminded me of Mr. Tamnus' little den. There was a fire place and book shelves, soft light and a beautiful rug on the floor. Jesus and I sat in comfortable chairs speaking to one another. Jesus spoke to my heart -

I’m not looking for a palace, child. I’m looking for the invitation, the welcoming space. I found it in your heart. Here in this cozy environment I can fellowship with you. I can share my secrets with you.

We chatted some more, sipping on cocoa. Then, Jesus took me to a passage in Ephesians...but not the one I figured He would take me to. He took me to Ephesians 1:18. Our conversation continued -

I am your strength inside, child. The more of me you have flowing within, the more strength you receive. The more of me you have, the less of you you’ll have.  To be strengthened with might in the inner man, as your soul desires, is to look to me with the eyes of your understanding enlightened. Allowing me to touch the eyes of your heart to see the unseen, what cannot be seen apart from my touch...Having your eyes opened, filled and flooded with light, child, is to keep your eyes on me.

Oh, that’s good. Oh that’s good. Yes, lord! I think I’ve seen that so much as my own efforts.

The eyes of your understanding being enlightened that you may know what is the hope of your calling…I am LIGHT. I FLOOD with light. I flood you with light even as I flooded the universe with light. There is no difference. It is all from me, child. I am the source of all true enlightenment. If you look to me, your eyes will see light. In your light, we see light? Ah, yes, child! This is the way of the kingdom…to see me is to see light. It is to have your eyes opened. I dwell in hearts who have their eyes fixed on me. I am home in these heats. For there is room to walk about, not bumping into the doors of their past, the walls of confusion and sin. Why? Because my light has broken through the darkness and opened them up. You are strengthened as I spread my light out more and more into the hallways of your heart.

I make my home here in this area of weakness, what you’ve tried to hide from me, you shyly and sometime timidly open the door and I am able to come into that which you thought I would hate and dismantle, but instead you find, I come in and gently bring light and change the appearance, even the appearance of the room. What you thought was weakness, I change into beauty. This is being strengthened in your spirit: when you yield to me, even the rooms you’ve tried to keep hidden. Like when company comes over and you close the door to your bedroom because of the clutter J. This is me strengthening your inner man, child. You with boldness come and welcome me there, where you are most afraid, where you are most ashamed, where you are most embarrassed...

 

I see the little image of my Tumnus’ room again. Where we have been seated.

When you begin here, in a comfortable PREPARED place, learning of my love for you, of my moods and emotions, my thoughts, in conversation, becoming at ease with who I am in your "home," then and only then are you able to find confidence and vulnerability enough to walk down the hall and open the door to the darkened rooms and spaces of your heart. You must come to a place of rest first…in the times we’ve spent together in comfort and growth in our relationship. But to endeavor further, to journey on together in your relationship, one must become more vulnerable. This is true friendship, true intimacy, child. To keep opening up to one another more and more without fear of judgment or rejection. When I strengthen your inner man, I come not in judgment or fear of condemnation, I come with work gloves on, ready to move the heavy boxes and ready to sweep away the cobwebs. I put the music on an we jam while we clean. We have fun in the process. I can take the most horrible situation and mess and make it into a journey of fun that turns into a memory of bliss. I alone can do this. When you come into this room by yourself, you just get overwhelmed…much like you did as a kid when you had to clean your room. The mess became your friend and you just played in it or you walked away from it...In the halls of your heart, when I come in, you and I are able to conquer a mountain together. I open you up and see you through and I take it and change it into something useable for your good.

I then saw images of me just standing in the cluttered room, with hands lifted and a song of worship on my heart. As I did this - as I invited Him in and kept my eyes on Him - Jesus was able to QUICKLY transform the mess into another cozy, comfortable setting for us to fellowship in. Worship made it go so much faster! He "enlarged my heart" (Psalm 119:32b)

So maybe I was a messy kid. And maybe, just maybe, I'm still a messy adult - doubts, fears, and insecurities cluttering up that room in my heart. But as I open up to Christ in me, I find that he's not standing there with the paddle ready to wear out my rear end...he's standing there with a mop bucket, rubber gloves, a giant smile on his face and a boom box under his arm. He's ready to conquer the mountain of ME. And he's not keeping me from recess...he's bringing recess to me!