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The Power of Trials


Sometimes when I sit down to ask the Lord a question, he directs me to past journal entries. That's exactly what Papa did to me a few minutes ago...I was searching for an entry about abiding when I came across this one without even intending to do so. And wow- I'm so glad I did. Belows is a journal entry from September 23, 2011. I pray it blesses you as it did me all over again!

 



Jesus, thank you for being that servant, the very one Isaiah sadi would come. I am amazed at the accuracy of the prophecies! How you fulfilled them Lord! Oh, thank you that you came with the Spirit of god upon you. Thank you that you walked in wisdom and knowledge of things too great for us to understand. Thank you, that you were willing to be humbled, humiliated, ridiculed and beaten to the point of being unrecognizable. It’s cruel. I am sorry for you and yet, so thankful to you. I believe you have brought me freedom from prison! You have opened my eyes! Beloved! I love you. Thank you for being all that Isaiah said you would and more. What would you like to say to me in light of all of these promises? How should I respond to you today?


Look upon my cross.


In so many ways, Lord, it reminds me of my unworthiness; that my sin did this to you.


This is the sorrow of the cross. The penalty of sin. That the righteous died for the unrighteous. It is true sorrow, child. But it does not show your unworthiness - it shows my worthiness. It shows my victory over sin. All of your shame is conquered by my powerful display. To know the fellowship of my suffering, child, begins when you see yourself as the one for which I died. This raises many responses in the human heart. Sorrow, distress, depression, discouragement. This is the weight of sin that you feel. It depresses mankind, pushes them low into the dirt…the nature of self and sin. The Father of sin, crawling on his belly in the dirt. Yet, I am the one who made man out of the dust. I redeem even the dust! I redeem all of the earth! All of the earth in you is redeemed! It is purchased back with my most precious blood! You are no longer unworthy dirt. You are worthy! You are holy dirt! Set a part for divine purposes.


Tell me more about the fellowship of sufferings, Lord.


To know me is to know my pain, child. It is to see the grief in my eyes. The onslaught of venom that was attacking me that day was unbearable in my own strength. The blows cut deep in a way you will never understand. The pain of heartache was too great too bear. I looked for my closest friends, and found none. Only a few hung by in my darkest hour. I was so low. So lonely. So broken. Yet, in my heart I knew my hope. You. And all mankind. In my Father’s strength, I saw my reward. I saw the great day when I will gather all of my people back to my Father’s heart, back into his family, back to the day as it was in the beginning where you once walked and talked with my father and me. Where my Spirit ran playfully among you and there was no fear. I saw this day ahead of me. I saw you. I knew your name and I knew it was worth it all. My suffering led to this. Suffering is not always bad, you see, child. Even what you suffer here on earth at times is direct from my hand. This is hard for man to fully grasp. Suffering is to know me. It is to find me in a special way. When you come to the cross, and take it as your own, you will find suffering. The first kind you find is that unworthy feeling. The pang of the heart towards me and my price. But if you press on through this, you will find joy unspeakable and full of glory! You will find peace for your journey. The cross offends many. The price of it, the stench of it, how it reveals the wickedness of the human heart, drives many to recoil from its personage. They look at it and say, ‘I do not want to think of myself as lowly and wicked! I am good on my own!’ and they turn away from Me. But for those who will humble themselves, bearing the weight of mild suffering within themselves, wrestling with the fact that they are separated from God’s holy nature, those who will do this AND press on through the cross will find resurrection power. That which was death gives way to life. Many preach this yet do not walk in it. I first call you to the cross. It is true. But I will always lead you to life. If you know the fellowship of my sufferings, I will call you to the fellowship of my life and resurrection. I will call you higher if you go lower. When trials come your way, child, do not look quickly for the escape. Look to me! (I sense a smile and warmth on this statement)You see, I will allow certain trials to come through my hands, always filtered, to test you, not in a hard way, or a mean way. I show you what you are really made of. I see in you the purest gold. I will cause it to rise to the top in the fire of trial. I work out impurities in you in this way.


Lord, this may be stupid. But, you suffered trial and yet you did not need to be tested. Sooo….?


Ah, but I did need to be tested, child, for every child of God is tested in this life so that in the next they can reign with out exception.


Explain.

 
I was tested in every way that you are tested to show you the better way, to show you what the human heart can do when it is crucified to its own ways and alive to Gods ways. I showed you how to live from day one. From the moment my feet hit the ground, till they were crucified on the tree, till they were taken up in glory, I showed you that life is meant to be lived victorious even in the trials of life and time. God allowed me to be broken. He allowed it for your good and for mine.

 
How could it be for Your good? You had never sinned. You had nothing to be worked out in you.

No, I was the righteous servant who had never done any wrong. But I was crushed for my own good, too, not because of disobedience, but to bring me great reward. Sometimes, trials have nothing to do with sin. That is called reaping and sowing, child. If you sow sin you reap sin. However, when life brings you trials, rejoice! It is a chance for your reward to be multiplied, to show the world that you are steadfast in the hour obedience (At this, I see Jesus resolute before his accusers and all the way to the cross). When I said yes to the Father’s will for me, I laid my life down on the cross in order that I could take it up again in victory.

Ah, I see.


Yes, the only way I could know resurrection victory was to lay my life down on the cross. I had to die in order to know everlasting Life. I am King, eternal, forever victorious because – yes, I am God – but as man? Because I laid my life down in the crucible of fire, in that great moment of trial for my soul in order that I might take it up again. I gained a kingdom because I went through the fire. Do you see? It was for my own good, too, that I laid it down. The suffering of my soul produced many sons in glory! It was worth it.

I see it, Jesus. The cross was for my good…it brought me to you. The cross was for your good – it gave way to resurrection where you are seated at the right hand of God!

 

And where you are seated, too!

 
Lol! Yes, Lord. Thank you. J


You are welcome, child. Welcome to come and feast on my resurrection Life, here before the throne, day and night, night and day. You are invited to the great banqueting table, where my banner over you is always love, every day, every night, forever and ever. The way of it, though, begins at the cross. In your day to day life, you pick up your cross by embracing little areas of obedience. Pay attention to the little details of the heart.

Like?


Simply responding in love and kindness when you don’t feel like it. Picking up the house in an attitude of surrender. All of these little areas of obedience give birth to power in your life. It’s not just the prayer and the devotion time we spend together that give way to resurrection life. It’s the obedience of your heart towards me in your day to day routine. This is a new concept for you, I know. You think of walking in greater power as only coming through prayer and fasting, sitting at my feet. But I’m telling you Mary and Martha will be joined into one body. You are called to sit at my feet. This is the important part. But, Martha’s job is needed after the sitting has taken place.  Martha should never outweigh Mary. Workers should never outweigh the lovers. However, your love will produce work. In your life, you are growing in power when you set your heart on me in the little things of life. The serving. The seeking. The obeying. It’s all hidden in the heart throughout your day.

 
Okay. I can see that. I wasted my day yesterday and I know it.

 
But you have brought it to me. I can redeem the time, child. One day does not discredit your glory and your power from impacting the world with my kingdom. Make it your habit to sit before me all day. Bring your heart before me as you do the dishes, as you sing your songs, as you wait on tables. This is the heart of a deaconess!


Lol! Yes, Lord. This is following your example.


Yes. This is staying connected to the vine. Abiding.


Yes. J Abiding.

 

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